botch

But first the lawless Tyrant, who denies To know thir God, or message to regard, Must be compelld by Signes and Judgements dire; To blood unshed the Rivers must be turnd, Frogs, Lice and Flies must all his Palace fill With loath'd intrusion, and fill all the land; His Cattel must of Rot and Murren die, Botches and blaines must all his flesh imboss, And all his people; Thunder mixt with Haile, Haile mixt with fire must rend th' EGYPTIAN Skie And wheel on th' Earth, devouring where it rouls; What it devours not, Herb, or Fruit, or Graine, A darksom Cloud of Locusts swarming down Must eat, and on the ground leave nothing green: Darkness must overshadow all his bounds, Palpable darkness, and blot out three dayes; Last with one midnight stroke all the first-born Of EGYPT must lie dead.

John Rain is a professional assassin known for making deaths appear to have been from "natural causes." He is hired by Israeli intelligence to take out a hated weapons dealer, but he botches the job because his newfound sensitivity won't let him kill the target in front of the man's young son.

Although a fair number of the supposedly genuine "bloopers, blunders, botches, and boo-boos" presented on these pages were probably penned long ago by some professional humor writer--e.g., "The American Revolution began because the English put tacks in their tea"--even the hoariest chestnuts in Lederer's collection are sure to seem fresh and new to some student who picks up one of his books and discovers for the first time that the English language can be a lot more fun than his excruciatingly dull eighth-grade English teacher may have led him to believe.