fogey

"Drive back six years," I said to the cabby, "and stop at the Junior Old Fogies' Club."

I'd no idea you'd joined this august company of old fogies."

There is nothing like the medical profession for that: one can have the exclusive scientific life that touches the distance and befriend the old fogies in the parish too.

The daft idea must have come from old fogies who still cling to fantasies of empire, when British royals swanned around 'their' Africa entertained by grateful natives in grass skirts.

He counted to twenty, then released the word again, as if it were a missile he could guide past the Hasidic lady wiping drool off her baby's cheek, past a waiter sagging under a platter of rugalach, to land, hopefully, on one balding old man sitting on a beige sofa with two old fogies on either side.

The new centre isn't designed for old fogies like my wife and me (in our 60s), it is for "a different generation's needs".

He needed a team of flunkies to help him through the ticket barrier, he had no clue what an Oyster card was and both he and Camilla looked like a pair of doddery old fogies who'd been sedated and let out of the care home on a day trip.

But this is no longer just about votes for criminals, it's about who runs this country - the politicians we elected to enforce our laws or a bunch of unelected, old fogies in Brussels who haven't a clue what happens in Britain and care even less.

It all sounds pretty complicated but actually, being a graphic text means many youngsters will sail through the chapters with ease when old fogies like me struggle to comprehend.

And now the old fogies at FAW are jeopardising Cardiff's chance of promotion to the Premier League.

We need new ideas, new thinking and a new direction, but we will get New Tricks - a bunch of old fogies. The enjoyable series is light-hearted humour, but not as funny as the unelected four.

Why should us old fogies suffer because a few idiots drink too much.